Maybe you will be afraid and maybe you will fail, but the courage to take risks in any part of your life is, I feel, a very worthwhile way to live. – Emile Hirsch

A Facebook friend posted this quote on her wall the other day and I feel that it certainly rings true.  I know I’m worrying my parents to death at the moment with some of the decisions I’ve been making but I also know that they’re very proud of me anyway and it really means a lot.  I’m frightened to death of ending up at the end of my life, looking back and wishing I’d have given my dreams a go.  There’s a lot still that I have to do, a lot still to learn and an awful lot to experience but I’d rather regret something that I have done than something I haven’t.  And isn’t life one big lesson anyway?!

As much as I love to have a laugh most of the time, the wonderful Catherine, one of my very best friends, often describes me as ‘obstreperous’ in so far as me being an awkward so and so sometimes!  We’ve regularly joked about it being a negative aspect of my personality but very recently I’ve come to realise that it’s also a very positive trait to have too, when applied correctly!  So many times I’ve been told that it will be too difficult for me to do this or that I wouldn’t be able to that and that’s when hell, I’ll do my level best to prove people wrong!  Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t but the fact that I’m learning all of the time, both from my mistakes, experiences I’ve gone through and from chances I’ve taken makes it extremely worthwhile in the end.  I’ll either try yet again or I’ll give it a wide berth but the fact that I’ve tried at the end of the day is really what matters most.  Tenaciousness, persistence, and determination are more the traits I’m looking for rather than awkwardness and so I will have to try and let go of the obstreperous aspect of my personality until I’m about 90 and giving the young’uns a run for their money!

So, going back to the quote at the beginning of this blog, I AM feeling afraid.  Afraid that I might fail.  Afraid that I’ll disappoint my family, friends and myself.  In the midst of my panic I am still trying to keep others calm and make them feel confident in themselves and in me.  But here’s the thing: I’m also feeling very, very excited at the possibilities that come with the chances that I’m taking.  I contemplate what I’m about to do next and my heart leaps and my fingers and toes tingle in that unique way excitement travels through my body.  A little like waiting to go on a big scary ride at a theme park.  I’m ready for the rush and am determined that I’m going to come out the other side a whole lot wiser and very, very happy that I tried…..so much so that I’ll want to do it again and again!!

I’ve got to admit, the adrenaline rush is quite addictive!!  :)

2 thoughts on “Obstreperous….moi?!”

  1. Hello! My name is Alex and I stumbled upon your site while doing a quick Google search. Before I get into this, I would like to complement your site on the theme that is currently has, simple yet stylish. Back on topic, I really love the posts and the quality of them, most of the sites that write about the same things that you do are very repetitive and boring. I enjoy reading your posts, keep it up. Guess that’s all I’ll be posting, also, feel free to check out my sons site if you have time (I’m still working on mine, not the smartest in tech haha :P) free dj software or if that doesn’t show up, http://free-dj-software.blogspot.com Keep on blogging! -Alex S.

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